up yours, kevin seconds!

About 3 weeks ago, I started on a daily brisk walking/mild jogging workout.  The first few days, I was lucky to hit the 2 mile mark before feeling so damned sore and winded I wanted to quit. But after that, it got easier. Well, maybe not easier but I pushed myself more without feeling like I was overdoing it.

I’m now averaging 3 and a half miles a day and I feel pretty good. My conditioning has improved and my joints and muscles don’t get nearly as sore as they did, originally. 

Add to this the fact that I’m drinking more water and eating much better (i’ve cut out fast and junk foods and am eating more greens and fibrous foods), I’m starting to really feel the difference in the way I move and feel.

I can even tell I have lost some weight. Nothing super noticeable to anyone but myself but me but still, I can feel the difference.

Actually, that’s not true. Al has told me twice now, while hugging me, that she can tell I’ve lost some weight. And, why, just the other night, someone at one of my gigs remarked that my face looked thinner.

So, I guess there are visible differences.

I’m actually excited about keeping at it. I have struggled with weight and health issues over the last few years more than I care to think about and I’d like to try and do everything I can to avoid it from here on out. 

My biggest concern now is how to maintain my diet and workout regimen while I’m on the road, which is much of the time. I do all of the driving and when you’re driving alone, doing 400 miles here, 600 miles there, and you have all night to do it in, making stops at healthier places for food isn’t all that realistic.

I know of bands and musicians who lift weights and jog every chance they get. They bring healthy foods to prepare themselves while out on the road but I just don’t see how.  Unless you’re making great money and traveling in a bus or whatever, how the fuck do you pull it off?

Regardless, for the time being, I’m enjoying these efforts made to get healthier and feel better, especially with a summer filled with acoustic and punk rock shows.

I’m off to walk!

i’m glad Instagram changed the wording, in their terms of service, about them having rights to sell user’s pics in. for the time being, i will remain a user. i like the idea and have enjoyed the community part of it.

and here’s a great big BOOOOO to y’all who talked shit and made fun of people for protesting Instagram’s weak-assed policy by calling them out or deleting their IG accounts. i get that by you actually taking stand, you’re forced to maybe do something that impacts other people besides yourself and that is troublesome. shame on your asses.

but the complaining and protesting WORKED. it forced Facebook and Instagram’s hand to do something right and change policy. yes, ultimately it was a small first world problem war to wage but at least some people out there were willing to try and change it.

how does it feel to know that even Kim fucking Kardashian is more punk rock than you?

i’m playing a solo gig in Sacramento tonight (Friday, 12/21) at a cool cafe in town called Shine. my friend Jackson Griffith is playing too. my other friend David Houston will open with a short set of his wonderful tunes. it all starts at 8pm and cover is only $5. please come out, enjoy the atmosphere, food and drink Shine has to offer and cheer us the fuck on.

i don’t know who these 2 crazy kids are or who took the pic but i love it. i found it when i went Google searching for old 7Secs t-shirt designs. what is not to love about this?

“I have a new album coming out REALLY soon. It’s on a record label. It was recorded and has songs in it. It’s pretty DAMNED good. That’s about it.”

There is so much about these last couple of days to reflect upon and if i seriously attempted to, i’d end up with yet another marathon rant and who needs that, right?

7Seconds just played 2 incredible shows and i’m happy to say, despite being very stiff and sore today, pretty much everything about this past weekend was perfect.

But before I do my post-gig spiel, I need to extend my gratitude to some folks who helped us out greatly over the weekend. Spike McGuire, who is a talented singer-songwriter and who hosts a great singer-songwriter hang called Loud As Fuck stepped up and sold our merch for us at the Sparks show while Josh F and his lovely wife Crystal did the same thing for us in Berkeley. Josh is a fellow Sacto and is a much respected and nationally-published writer and teacher. They all did the band a huge solid by volunteering to help and we are immensely grateful.

Our show in Sparks, Nevada at the Alley on Friday wasn’t as packed out as it usually is when we make our annual hometown stand but the energy was unbelievable and everyone seemed to be having quite a time. Personally, playing Reno is always a little bittersweet for me. 

The downside is that, for the 11 or so years I lived there, I felt everything i did was just one massive struggle. Jobs, music, relationship, family ties, basic surviving - it was a city where I cut my teeth in in so many ways but also one that was very backwards and oppressive and sometimes I think about it and wonder how I ever survived some of the bullshit and madness that happened there over the years. When I left Reno to move back to Sacramento in 1988, I felt drained in just about all ways and severely under-appreciated. I felt like I had poured everything into trying to help make life in Reno a little more fun and bearable and all I was hearing from people there was how much of an ego I and 7Seconds had and how I had sold the scene out. I mean, fuck. I helped create the scene. Why would I want to harm it or turn my back on it?

The good, warm and fuzzy side is easy for me to think and talk about: most of my immediate family lives there, 7Seconds formed and ‘got our wings’ there and the punk/hardcore scene, especially in it’s formative days, helped shape me into who I am today, socially and maybe even philosophically. 

Despite everything, I really do love going up to play for “the kids” in Reno. There now is a true sense that we really did and do mean something to a great deal of people up there and when I consider how truly reviled we were for so many years by anyone above ground, it’s kinda funny to think about. It just feels good to be greatly acknowledged for our longtime history there. What more can I say?

The show itself was pretty classic. San Francisco’s Let It Burn kicked everything off and did a splendid job. My Sacramento pals Bastards Of Young and Union Hearts tore it up and had the crowd bouncing around like little lunatics.

Our set was rock-solid and my dudes were as tight as a scorpion’s butthole. To say that I often marvel at how lucky I am to get to play with people who are as talented, smart and passionate about music as Stevie, Troy and Bobby are, is a tremendous understatement.  I always say this and I’ll say it again, no one group of guys play the style of hardcore punk rock as well as they do. Excuse my boastful bullshit but that’s just how I feel and I’m sticking with it.

If our Reno shows are crazy and frantic, they are nothing compared to the post-gig experience in that town. Family members, old bandmates, friends, enemies, ex—girlfriends and workmates…they all come out of the woodwork to embrace and welcome us back. It’s awesome and very touching. 

It’s also extremely stressful. I love the love and chat part but I hate when my brain starts dipping back and recollecting the hard, shitty and desperate times I experienced there. I start to feel claustrophobic and immediately start looking for the exit door. It’s not the people. It’s all me. But it does hit me pretty much every time I’m there, especially after a really great 7Seconds show.

After, Al and I headed back to Sacramento. We had a really long talk about everything inspiring and troubling us and before long, she was reclining in her passenger side seat and I knew it would bee light’s out for her within moments. It was but it was ok. I had some old Howard Stern show to listen to on what felt like a 6 hour drive but was only a little over 2. 

On Saturday night, we returned back to Berkeley, CA and 924 Gilman. After the trek back home to Sac super early Saturday morning, I managed to go home, grab a shower and crash for a good 5 hours before getting up, grabbing coffee and heading down to the Bay Area. I hit patches of heavy traffic along the I-80 corridor and kept myself occupied by listening to Fucked Up, Odd Future and bits of Art Bell shows from the 1990’s (thank you, TuneIn Radio app!). 

I got into Berkeley early and met up with Josh and Crystal  at my beloved Peet’s Coffee. 

Got to Gilman and waited around for my peoples to show up. I chatted with the Bastards Of Young and City Of Vain boys. The other 7Seconds guys got into town around 8:30 or so. Al showed up a bit later. I ran into good and longtime friends Robert T, Barb, Nolan E, our t-shirt artist Chris Shary and so many more. My buddy Jonah Matranga showed up and agreed to come up with us and sing the song “Satyagraha”. I love and respect this guy, greatly. He’s practically a brother to me and I’m constantly inspired by his passion, drive, creativity and open-ended honesty about pretty much everything. It’s show a show within a show whenever he comes up and sings songs with us. I love it.

City Of Vain opened and blasted everybody’s shit. They are one of my favorite hometown bands (in a pretty huge pool of amazing Sacto bands kicking around these days) and their live show is awesome. The same with Bastards Of Young who played next. I’m less familiar with the Bay Area-based Heartsounds but they rocked it well and the crowd loved them.

I was very pleased at how our set went. I knew that I was going to end up blowing my voice out because, despite Gilman’s decent sound system, I can never hear my vocals over the din of the music. I thought Steve, Bobby and Troy played even better and tighter than the night before and even with all the kids onstage with us, they managed to move, bounce and jump around pretty fucking well for a bunch of 40-somethings :) 

But the crowd was what all the fun was about. Yeah, there were a few idiots there who were a little too aggro for anybody’s good. Or not at all aware of how big and awkward they were when they steamrolled people. But the majority of people in attendance were AWESOME and really revved up the spirit of the night and at the building we were all in. I’ve seen so many classic and amazing shows in this place over the years. I cannot NOT be psyched and feel a sense of pride getting to be onstage playing to such a fun and enthusiastic bunch there in 2012.

Afterwards, I felt as though I had been hit by and run over a car or 2. Seriously. My legs, my arms, my neck, my head, my back…my fucking BALLS, for christ sakes! I was rightly battered but I felt great. Maybe i’m just pathetic and used to this sort of feeling after a good punk rock show and I knew the next day was going to be murder on me but fuck if I don’t still love the living shit out of this nonsense. 

Sometimes I feel embarrassed admitting that to myself, like it’s wrong or something. 

Anyway, after the usual never-ending of hugs, goodbyes and promises of bigger future plans, we all got into our vehicles and fled the scene of the crime. The not-so long drive back to Sacramento rivaled the night before’s drive from Reno but I knew that I’d have a full day at home to recover. 

Fuck it.

I’m failing at so many things at the moment. I don’t ever remember failing so badly and consistently like this, not at any stage of my life before.

I mean, yeah, I have thought up and have done some really stupid shit in my lifetime.

Like at 9, when I talked my friend Patrick Bustos into giving me all of his allowance to go buy a bunch of gum and candy for the trip to the moon we were both going to navigate, after we built a rocket ship out of construction site-stolen plywood, newspapers and cardboard.

Or at 13, when I would go steal bottle after bottle of Southern Comfort for a 19 year old neighbor girl who would, in exchange, show and let me touch her pubic hair.

Or at 30, when I traded a good-running Yamaha 550 motorcycle for a bottle of Vicodin because I had the worst teeth pain imaginable but couldn’t afford a visit to the dentist.

But now, it’s just one embarrassing case of bad planning and execution after another and I can’t seem to get control of it. In fact, it seems like these days, I’m perched up on some ledge, without the use of my mouth or limbs, watching myself think and do this ridiculous crap, unable to do anything about it.

I am not in control but I need to be.

Now. 

I’ve been a-traveling and in no mood to take shit. Maybe it’s the mind-fellating effects of this dopey jet lag I’m suffering from. People tend to think it’s a big fucking joke when you say, “yeah, I’m just trying to get through this jet lag shit and feel normal again”.

Well, fuck you if you don’t believe me when I say that. 

It’s ok. I’m ok. I’m handling it ok. I still hate being stationary here at home while feeling completely nauseated at the mere thought of sitting in a van, zooming through a batch of countries on my latest mission to become rich and famous.

I’m beginning to think that I might not be cute or talented enough for this rock shit anymore. Then again, I just took a good long look in the Help Wanted parts of my local newspaper and Craigslist and do you know what it told me?

“FUCK YOU!” is what. 

So yeah, there will probably be a bit more touring and pimping my goods and wares to strangers. It could be worse.

messing with new (possible) logos for new (possible) band project

I know this guy. A great dude, writer and songwriter. I’ve known him a long time and I consider him a friend. 

He’s had a tough run these past 5 or so years and he’s filled me in on some of what he’s been through and I absolutely sympathize and have done what I could to listen and be supportive. When things started to turn around and go good for him, I was as happy and relieved about it as anyone else could have been. I was just glad to hear that the guy had found some happiness and inner peace in his life after going through so much bullshit.

I’ve often said to quite a few folks that I think he’s one of the more talented songwriters in these parts and for many years, I’ve watched his sets, listened to his online-posted tunes and have even booked him to perform live at one local venue or another. 

But here’s the thing. In the last year or so, every time I see him, he does this thing where, pretty much anytime I run into him in public, we exchange pleasantries and when the time comes for me to mention what I’ve got coming up, gigs and what-not,  he says something like, “well, book me on one of your shows sometimes. i’m dying to play” and I basically do what I do with anybody who says this - I nod, say something like, “yeah, sure. sounds good.” and I go back to whatever it was I was doing.

Recently, he’s been posting these snarky comments on event pages i’ve made on Facebook that I invited him on, where he basically goes out of his way to let me and everyone else reading know that, while he likes some of the other people playing on the bill of the event I’ve created, he is passing on going to the event, for one reason or another. It’s the weirdest, most awkward goddamned form of protest, really.

But, i get it.

See, he’s doing this because he’s a performer in Sacramento who doesn’t play all that much and he views me as a performer in Sacramento who plays all too much and I can’t really argue that point. I do play a lot here in town and I’ve gone back and forth over how I feel about doing so which I won’t address here right now. So, when he posts his snarky little barbs (and make no mistake, they ARE barbs, despite him trying to pass them off as a joke or whatever), he’s basically giving me a little flick in the nose for booking yet another gig and not inviting him to play on it.

In his most recent dig, another local singer-songwriter had apparently  invited him to come to upcoming January 7th show and his response was: ‘love to go (XXXXX), but I’m BOYCOTTING Kevin’s shows until he invites me to play one of his bills’.

And I responded in equally snarky fashion, ‘which won’t happen’.

Honestly, I *WAS* joking but I didn’t appreciate him putting me on the spot as he did. It’s tacky, petty and it doesn’t reflect that he likes and/or respects me all that much.

After that, he basically claimed that he was joking in his initial response and then preceded to accuse me of being passive-aggressive with him when I should just (since I don’t like him….his words) tell him that I basically think he sucks and doesn’t fit into my ‘chummy little scene here in Sacramento’.

Anyway, like I said, I don’t believe he was joking at all. I know him to be a pretty embittered, opinionated guy when it comes to his perceived place in the local music scene and he does have a legit gripe. I just don’t know what I can do about it.

During any given day, I get hit up by people, for something or another. Interviews, gigs, songs for compilations, benefit show requests….a lot of music-related people want me to do something with or for them and I’m pretty ok with it. If I can, i will. If it works out, i’ll help make it work out. 

When the time comes to try and figure out what sort of show i’d like to play the next time I play in my hometown, I consider all options. I really do. Sometimes, someone i know from another city  is trying to play in Sacramento and hits me up for a show. Sometimes, I see a musician or band play elsewhere that blows me away and I invite them to come play with me. Sometimes, and probably more often than not, I run into a musician friend who i thoroughly enjoy both musically AND personally, reflect on what fun the shows we play together almost always are and hit them up to play with me.

This friend of mine has probably mentioned 10 times to me that he would like me to book him on one of my shows and like I do most things, i considered it. at least i did, up until recently.  As mentioned, I think this guy is a great songwriter. He really knows how to put words and melodies together. In a good, fair world, he’d be rich from what he can do with words and music. I mean that.

But in 15 years, I’ve seen him perform well over 20 times and, while I enjoy the songs he makes, I don’t always enjoy his live performance. There’s just something off and missing when he plays and sings and I can’t quite put my finger on it. His guitar playing seems decent and his voice, while at times, a little too piercing and ‘from the throat’-y, is pleasant enough but overall, he just never seems well-prepared to play in front of a live audience and during his set, he seems to be more focused on scanning the crowd for reaction than just loving what he’s creating and sharing it with an audience.

I know that it is nerve-wracking to get up there and play your shit in front of people. Few people in Sacramento have nurtured and supporter singer-songwriters in recent years as much as I have, this particular friend, included. But all too often, this guy seems like he’s just been so beaten and weighted down by the shittiness of life, he can barely appreciate the gifts and talents he possesses or the friends and supporters he does have. I can’t say that I dislike him as a performer, I don’t. He just sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable and nervous for him and it’s hard to get excited about what he does when it comes to live shows.

I don’t claim to be an expert on talent but I know what I look for in songs and in performers. I’ve booked live music at several area venues and have hosted my share of open mics in Sacramento, 5 of them off the top of my head, that were arguably some of the best weekly open mics my hometown has ever seen, with some of the most amazing and inspirational musicians, singers, songwriters and performers I have ever witnessed.

I’ve been around.

As a performer, I know that I’m about as scrappy and un-polished as they come and most certainly, an acquired taste for many. It’s never been about the most notes or chords or frills and it definitely has nothing to do with perfection. I love flaws and quirks and rawness and I love when a performer shows the human part to the performance. Make mistakes all the fuck you need to, forget words and key changes, no a big deal.

But show spark and let your love for what propels you as a musician, especially a performing songwriter flow out of your asshole like a righteous river of scalding diarrhea. If you can’t give something to an audience, at least “own” parts of them with passion and conviction.

Anyway, this was written in response to a much bigger piece this friend posted on his own blog last night. I hadn’t meant to critique him in public as that is not really for me to do. But he accused me of more or less pulling my punches and questioned my honesty so I felt compelled to put this down in writing.  

I don’t know if this means we are now NOT friends and I will not be putting a ton of thought into what I can do to make this friend feel better about me or about his standing in the local music community.

I don’t like that he thinks that I don’t like him.  Then again, I don’t completely believe that he thinks that I don’t. 

who said anything about this being poetry period, asshat?

 

At The Cusp Of…

got up this afternoon feeling fucked
it seems like i’m currently 
at the cusp of 
something, um, bigger? 

a couple of days ago
I had a meeting with a friend
who is also a band mate 
and is quickly becoming
a “business associate”
and he’s been talking to record labels 
on our behalf 
and he told me that 
one label in particular
a major label, 
is very interested 
and that an offer
is imminent

and i’m thinking, geez, 
a possible major label contract 
after 15 years 
with this band, 
with all the tours, 
the records, 
the city moves,
the girlfriends,
bad dieting 
and rotting teeth

and it dawned on me 
that i’m way more excited 
about my computer bulletin board system 
than i am about selling my 
almost 34 year old self 
and getting a video on MTV. 

something about that seems pretty fucked up. 

1/24/95  Sacramento, CA

There’s this woman who requested to be my friend on Facebook awhile back and I added her. We seem to have mutual friends and I suppose I added her because of that. I don’t believe we’ve ever met in person although her face seems familiar to me. 

Nonetheless, I don’t think I ever heard a peep come from her until I announced that I was trying to raise money to buy a touring for myself and for occasional 7Seconds trips by starting a Kickstarter project, where I offer ‘rewards’ in exchange for financial contributions. It took me awhile to get completely comfortable with the idea but eventually I figured, why the fuck not? If you’re a fan of me and what I do, this is a fun little project and yet another way to show support for what I do, creatively. 

Now, I can see why some people might get their noses bent over something like this. People who get up every morning and go to a job they may love or hate or not have any real feeling about at all might take offense at some musician schmuck who tries to come up with some new, creative way to keep the work coming. I don’t agree with it but I can kinda see why someone who doesn’t live this particular lifestyle could get their panties in a bunch over it.

I tried to make it clear that, while I was asking people to contribute money towards my cause, I wasn’t asking for a handout, a freebie, where people just dump money into some random Paypal account and get nothing back in return. I offered various things - artistic and musical - in return for the donations and I went into it knowing that, no one besides true, blue fans, friends and family members would even bother with it.

Truth be told, I didn’t even think that more than 10, 20 people would want to contribute to the project when I first started it. That’s how NOT confident i was about the whole idea.

That said, I asked for $7,000 to buy a new van and ended up raising that in less than 2 days and by the end of the required 30 days it takes for the project to end, I ended up raising nearly $12,000, with over 150 kind and generous folks, chipping in.

To say that the overall experience gave me new-found hope in and appreciation for people’s love for musicians and artists would be a massive understatement.  

Within 4 days of receiving the funds (and 2 days of leaving for a nearly month-long U.S. tour), I was able to but a wonderful 2005 Ford Econoline in EXCELLENT condition and I will be eternally grateful to those who helped me make this happen.

That brings us back to this woman, this Facebook “friend” who took issue with the project and decided to make the extra effort to come on my Facebook page and try and insult and humiliate me. Had she REALLY researched the project, or had any real clue as to why she was bitching at me about this, I would have attempted to keep a dialogue going between us, as I am all about keeping facts straight and communication lines open. But from day one, it was clear that she just wanted to pick a fight with me and use my response as I way to make herself look better or more cool on her own page.
And that’s exactly what she did. She didn’t bother using any of my actual quotes to prove just what a complete shithead i was. Instead, she called me names, accused me of being lazy, insulted my integrity (or lack thereof) and questioned my motives and she did it, with the hopes that some of her Fb friends would chime in and agree with her on what a “douche” I am, some who did, most who didn’t.

I honestly found it amusing because, let’s face it, i kinda love shit like this. But recently, this person decided to take a particular subject (the serious illness of a beloved pet (Hank the dog) and the attempt of a dear friend to organize an art charity to help raise funds for Hank’s medical treatment) and try and (AGAIN) dis-respect me for no real reason and crossed a line that I think even SHE would realize, if she could get past her own pettiness and weird beef with me.

She took some petty, half-assed digs at me (on MY Facebook page!) and asked why I, if I truly loved and cared for Hank, wouldn’t sell my new van and put the money towards Hank’s vet bills.

Is that even a remotely reasonable or intelligent suggestion? 

Our exchange went something like this…. (all in response to the art charity link I posted):

CK (the woman): Now THAT’S a worthy cause! (an obvious dig at my Kickstarter thing)

Me: Yep. Hank and my new van (sorry. i couldn’t help it)

CK: Lame!!!!! Why don’t you sell your van to save Hank? Is he not worthy of such sacrifice?

Me: why don’t you mind your own beeswax?

CK: Not the world’s, but maybe a hundred of them for a while. Is that not more worthy a cause than Kevin’s free touring van?

CK: Wah wah! Poor Kevin. Anyway, I hope all turns out well for Hank. Enjoy the rest of Thanksgiving Day.

I knew that she would have a field day with this latest bit of attention I was paying to her and went to her page to find this little gem:

CK: This thanksgiving, I am thankful for FB, for giving me the opportunity to start shit with douchey aging “rock stars.”

Classy.

It was after this that I decided that this woman couldn’t POSSIBLY be serious and was now just trolling the fuck out of me. Unfortunately, I don’t find anything funny in the death or sickness of a pet and I decided that, before I let this woman continue her asinine behavior on my Fb page and create a possible flame war, I’d just eradicate her and her shittiness and be done with it. Naturally, I knew she would have something snarky to say about her being deleted and so I checked her page to find this:

CK:  As curmungenly (as my aging rockstar gets, he’s never douchey and I don’t need FB to start shit with him. But I did get under Kevin Seconds skin enough for him to block me yesterday. Ha! He should have done it months ago.

And when a few folks on her page responded, she continued:

CK: Ed, it was awesome! We had a four day argument about his stupid van. I ragged on him for begging instead of working for it, asked him whatever happened to DIY. there were about 45 people on the thread and no one defended him. Then Jason O’Toole and I discussed it on James Damion’s page and Kevin saw that. He was such a douche the whole time. Yesterday when he posted a worthy cause I commented that he should sell his van for it and he went on about how hard he works and I made fun of him for being a cry baby so he made a post like this one, but about me and then blocked me. By the way, I love 7 Seconds.

Ed responded with: ‘You are officially my favorite person right now!’  which is, I’m assuming, what she was hoping for in the first place. Maybe now she can revel in her joy and contentment over trolling me so magnificently.

I actually don’t blame CK for using me as a Facebook whipping boy. I have a lot of people reading and commenting on my page and her page doesn’t generate all that much attention. I’m sure a little drama is just the thing to get people chirping.

One last thing, and just to clear the slate and state my side of that last bit of bullshit she posted…

I’m not sure what she was referring to when she claimed “there were about 45 people on the thread and no one defended him (me)”. I just went back and looked and over 35 people ‘LIKED’ my post announcing my Kickstarter project and WAAAAY more than that responded positively and in support. Only CK and grumpy, ol’ Al from SSD bitched about it. 

Secondly, i never ONCE said anything about how hard I work, in response to her comment. I mentioned that the van costs a pretty penny to maintain but I did not say anything about how hard I work. 

Thirdly, i maintained my sense of humor throughout the ordeal and never lost my temper and didn’t even contemplate deleting CK. I figured the overwhelming amount of support I got spoke volumes and I didn’t want to ruin it by wrasslin’ verbally with this shit-stirrer too much or for very long.

Anyway, I had to get this off my chest so, there it is.

I, Pedestrian | Happened Really Fast | Mariposa | Cats | Make You Come | Crazy Head | Focus | Shave My Head | Perfect Rainbow World | Big Pork Sale | Swell All Over | Weird Family | Your Pants | Gym Less | Toys | Chin  | 137 Song  | Bad Girl Afterall  | Anti Me  | Better Picture  | X Girlfriend  | (Not My) Father | Weather, Everything  | Down  | Her Secret World  | Little Mystery  | Mick Foley | Stumbled Into Ben  | Stoudamire  | Tiny Shelter  | A Random Thought | The Day | Won’t Be Boring | This Cassette | Greens Turned To Brown | Good Morning Hannah | Hey Al | Sacto Lately | Prove Myself To You | June | On It | Nowhere Ain’t A Town

i stink of cigarettes. last night’s cigarettes. 

apparently, Jacksonville, Florida and many of it’s citizens still find indoor smoking absolutely adorable.

meanwhile, me, my guitar and my van smell like an ashtray that hasn’t been emptied in 2 years.

nevertheless, i really enjoyed the gig i play last night. despite the stage and sound system and lighting set up, the venue itself didn’t really feel like it was a live music venue. at least not live acoustic music.

the place was crowded and everyone was in full cheap PRB mode which isn’t something that insults or annoys me all that much. since starting on this long, sometimes tedious road of performing alone many many years back, i’ve gotten accustomed and pretty damned good at handling whatever venue/crowd situation whatever city/country throws my way. last night’s drunks were all warm and friendly and, had i been in the mood to go hang out or eat or even get laid after the set, the odds were definitely in my favor.

instead, i toweled off in the darkness of my van sanctuary, stashed away the money i pocketed and got my sore, tired and cig-stenchy old ass back on the road, this time, to South Carolina.