continued……

March 30

Woke up to more storm-age happening outside. We loaded up the car and off we went, to Knoxville, Tennessee. We had a nearly 10 hour drive ahead of us and I’m still not sure why we didn’t leave last night or as late as we did today but I just kept my trap shut. On our first stop for gas, I offered to do the first leg of the drive but Exene wanted to drive so….

…she drove. All the way. All 10 hours to Knoxville. My second offer to drive was completely ignored and I’m not sure why Raven didn’t do any of the driving. I know her back was really bothering her and who knows, maybe she too offered but nope, Exene drove the entire way.



One thing WAS very clear though. By the time we hit Knoxville and the Pilot Light club we were playing at, Exene was not in a good mood.

Not at all.

First off, there was no decent parking outside the venue. I ran in and let the promoter know that we had arrived and asked if there was a specific place for us to park. There really wasn’t. Street parking was about all there was. I went back to the car and the first thing Exene asked was, “is it a total shithole?” which I thought was funny, considering all of the many seriously shitty shitholes I’m sure the two of us have played in our lifetime.

But the Pilot Light wasn’t really one of those. Sure, it was dive-y but it had a warm, friendly atmosphere and again, the staff was A-OK by me. Nice, helpful, hospitable, enthused. Why, if we manage to get paid at the end of the night, what a BONUS that would be!

But seriously, the place seemed cool to me.

We loaded in all of our shit in and camped out at the merch table. Luckily, my old bro (and longtime 7Secs/Kev Secs supporter) Mark O and a buddy of his showed up and we grabbed some coffee and caught up with life stuff. It was here that I first started spouting off to close friends about how weirdly things were going between Exene and I. I had filled Allyson in on everything but nobody else, really.  And I didn’t really talk any real shit. I was just  sharing a bit of the frustration I was feeling after only being on the road for 6 days. 6 days on the road is nothing. But this 6 days felt more like 3 weeks. Yikes!

Back at the club, the place was pretty packed and the opener (Will Fist) was rocking the loud crowd. Raven came up to me and said that Exene was thinking of going on next. That was fine. I mean, sure, it would have been cooler had Exene talked with me directly and maybe said something like, “hey Kevin, would you mind terribly if I go on next and you play last?” but no, that didn’t happen.

Instead, Will Fist finished his set and it took a good 10 minutes before Exene finally decided that she would be playing last, after all.

Am I just crazy or what? Am I just some new-kid-on-the-punker-block local yokel who hasn’t ever toured or recorded or made a name for himself in the music world? Just some lucky-to-be-in-this-current-situation fucktard who should just be grateful and keep my mouth shut?

I know I am not on Exene’s level of legendary rock whateverthefuckness and I have never bought into punk rockstar bullshit but certainly, I deserve to be treated with a little more class and respect than what had been slung in my general direction these past few days. I’m trying not to get mad or take it personally but it’s getting a little hard.  I did not ask to be added to this tour. I was asked to join up with Exene.

On a CO-HEADLINE TOUR.

Evenly billed.

Getting paid the same exact amount of money even.

A PACKAGE fucking tour.

…..breathe, Kevin, breathe…..

I swallowed back the bile that was rising up in my throat, bit my lower lip to keep it from forming words that I might verbalize loudly and regret later and I made my way through the packed crowd and onto the little Pilot Light stage.

I’m sad to say,  don’t remember a great deal about the set itself. My brain was in complete overload mode and I was thinking way too much up there to have fully enjoyed myself.  I think I did ok. I sold some merch afterwards and got into some fun conversations.

No one seemed disgusted or offended.

I DO remember mentioning during my set that Exene and I were looking for an inexpensive hotel for the night and asked anybody there to let us know if they knew of one. The second I got back over to the merch table, a cool guy (sorry but I can’t recall his name…FUCK!), a 7Seconds and X fan, came up and told me that he worked for Marriott Hotels and could get us a couple of REALLY nice rooms for cheap for the night.

After Exene’s set, I asked Raven to let her know about the hotel room offer because, quite frankly, I wasn’t in the mood to do it myself. She attempted to let Exene know but she was signing stuff and talking to fans and Raven couldn’t seem to get a straight answer from her. Finally, after 15 minutes of holding the poor guy up, I told him that we’d take the 2 rooms and to do whatever he needed to do to make it happen. At that point, I barely cared about how much the rooms would cost us. I just knew that I wanted one of my own and preferably on a different floor. The nice Marriott guy needed to fax off some info to the hotel before we could check in so the club owner kindly let us in to his used shop next door where he had a fax machine. While waiting for everything to go through, I looked around the shop and ended up buying a cheap ukelele. I didn’t even know I wanted a cheap ukelele but on this particular night, for whatever reason, I must have.



We drove a few blocks to the hotel and, after the nice Marriott guy made sure we got checked in ok, we said goodbyes and went to our rooms. I was fuming, depressed and strangely, horny. Never a good combination.

I called Al and filled her in on everything and, like she always has, she listened and waited before saying exactly all the right things to help make me calm down and get the fuck over myself, at least enough to get a good night’s rest. I even suggested, half-seriously, that I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Exene didn’t bail on the tour after the Memphis gig, Raven’s last night with us.

After a shower, I attempted to masturbate but my head was too heavy and noisy so I gave up and crashed into the 4 fancy pillows on my bed.

Things need to get better soon. I’m not even able to jerk off and that NEVER happens.


to be continued…..