April 2nd

April 2

I slept in until about noon. T & S had a left me a spare key to, more or less, come and go as I pleased while I was there. Very thoughtful.

I found a UPS store nearby and decided to ship off a bunch of junk to myself so that I would have much to carry with me on the flight home, whenever that was. I boxed up the ukelele I got in Knoxville, a bunch of CDs, a couple of books and the majority of my CD/vinyl merch. I kept just enough with me, just in case a miracle happened and I figured out a way to play more shows before going home.

I took off for Memphis and along the way, stop at a used CD store where I bought 3 CDs for 98 cents each - The Cure Staring At The Sea: The SIngles CD, Macy Gray’s first and a 2-fer X CD (Los Angeles and Wild Gift). I listened to the X CDs first and right off the bat, i was filled with joy and the drive to Memphis became more fun. Despite this past week or so, Exene’s great band will always rate high on my playlist. I didn’t even bother with The Cure or Macy Gray CDs.

Memphis felt warm and muggy. I got to the club - the Hi-Tone Cafe - early and after I checked in, I decided to have a nap in the car. I kept wishing I had a junior-sized guitar so I could work on new songs while I sat around. I really need to get one of those soon.

Just after the club opened, I got a call from Raven. She was slightly panic-y because she had heard that someone from Exene’s camp, a manager or record label person or somebody, had heard that I was saying bad things about her online and that I had plans to call her out onstage at the Memphis gig. Raven was particularly concerned because she lives in Memphis, had many friends coming out to see Exene and she felt like it would put her in some weird, embarrassing position that she didn’t feel up for being in.

Quite frankly, I felt a little put off by what Raven was saying. I know she doesn’t know me very well but all she had to do was look on Facebook to see that I hadn’t really said anything derogatory about Exene nor had I ever hinted that I might try and make a spectacle out of her by talking shit about her on stage. I explained to her that that just wasn’t my style and that I had no intention of pulling a stunt like that. If she had heard this rumor, I can only imagine what Exene had heard. What a fucking nightmare. I just really couldn’t wait for this tour to end. I wanted to just move on and never think about it again.



The show went off alright. There were a few people who turned out, mostly for Exene. It wasn’t crowded but it was nice.

I opened the show and banged through about a 30 minute set. It felt shorter to me but I knew everyone was waiting for Exene and I figured I’d keep it short and sweet.

I watched a few songs before going outside for air and some much-needed reflection. I thought about how odd it felt to me to not be truly angry about this whole shitty ordeal. Oh sure, I had a few moments where I just wanted to scream and act out like a petulant child but I think that deep down I knew that it wouldn’t have solved a single thing or changed the way this all went down with Exene. I don’t know if I’ll ever really know what happened here or why she and I couldn’t work out something that would have, at least, been less uncomfortable and resentful. I definitely feel some resentment and as much as I know I will get over it, i’ll never forget how stupid and pointless this whole deal was. In the long run and in the grander scheme of things, none of it will matter. It’s not as though the world had been holding it’s breath, waiting on an Exene Cervenka/Kevin Seconds solo tour, anyway.